when you just can't - understanding your Way of Being

Do you ever find that there are things you think you should do or ought to do and you just can't?

You just can't.

Or even worse, you find there are projects and ideas that you're excited about carrying out and you can't do those either? What's going on?

Well, it could be that not all parts of you are on board.

the three-part harmony of action

What do I mean by that? You've probably heard me talk before about Way of Being. It's an holistic approach that looks at all parts of you—not just the thoughts, the conversation, the words that say, "I really must, it's time to, I should" but also pays attention to the feelings that happen before those words. It offers the idea that emotions and moods are predispositions for action, and these are both connected to the body, the physical part of you that carries out the action.

If all three of these—words, feelings and body—are not congruently working together, things you want probably just don't happen.

moving beyond blocks

If you've ever experienced a block like this, it might be interesting to find out what's going on, and when I say that, I don't mean in a therapy kind of way. Looking at the past is not what I do. I'm much more interested in:

How can I do something about this?

How can I shift this?

How might I, in a very short space of time, move to a way of being that enables me and gives me the capacity and power to do what I want and need to do?

Self-Coaching Questions

Take a moment to connect with something you "just can't" do right now. Then explore:

words & thoughts

• What's the conversation in your head about this?

• If these thoughts had a tone of voice, what would it be?

feelings & emotions

• Where in your body do you feel resistance?

• What emotion colours your thinking about this task or project?
  physical sensations

• If this block had a posture, what would it be?

• What happens to your breathing when you think about the task?

integration

• Which part feels most out of alignment—thoughts, emotions or body?

• If these three aspects could talk to each other, what would they say?

what next?

If you're interested in any of this, here's a short video with more details and a very short meditation that helps you tune into the three aspects of being. All my coaching is based on this approach which has worked so powerfully in my life and for my coachees, releasing anxiety using an action focus through noticing and shifting your Way of Being.

Book a free focus call: to learn more and experience this firsthand.

Your turn: Take a moment to reflect on your answers to the self-coaching questions.

What did you discover?

Share in the comments if you'd like, or keep your insights as a starting point for deeper exploration.